Unit 11 Scripts

Task 1 

d.

Ser Waymar:

Ser Waymar wants to carry on and finish his job to find out what's going on and how they died, and wants to find out what happened and how they died. But the bodies are gone and he can't find out how they died so there's no evidence, and he gets killed by a White Walker. will and gared are hesitant to do as Ser Waymar says which is causing conflict.

Gared:

Gared wanted to go back to the wall, as he thinks he's completed his job to track the wildlings. But if he goes back he will be a deserter and will be executed for deserting.

Will:

Will wanted to leave and go back to the wall as he doesn't believe what he saw, as he's never seen anything like it, but if he leaves he will be a deserter and will be a coward and will be executed for deserting his people, and if he stays in the forrest and helps, he will be killed by the White Walkers.




































TASK 3

Feedback Given:

1. LENGTH
7 pages long, finish current page then maybe consider cliffhanger. Good length. Add some more detail near the end. Make a scene heading.

2. FORMAT
Consider checking on page 2 for punctuation and grammar, e.g. Cant Can't. Check to us commas instead of full stops. Finish some kind of end.

3. STRUCTURE
Standard flashback, consider flash forward? Make it more obvious at the 14 year mark.

4. DIALOGUE
Think about mode of address between characters. Certain words aren't well thought out. Make the characters unique with their tone of voice and accents e.g. ey' or yo'

Thoughts:
I agree with some of the feedback given such as the characters' dialogue and their content. I think I could develop it more by using accent to show the status of the character. I also agree that I could give my script more of a dramatic ending, possibly Hereward finding out who killed his brother? However, I don't agree with the grammar comments especially about the commas and full stops. I will check it again, but I think it is fine.

D. a) General Series Arc

            It starts with a normal girl, Samantha Stanton, whose sister has been framed for a crime she didn’t commit and put in prison. Samantha is trying to get the money to bail her out as she is her only family left but eventually gets so desperate that her friend suggests they start working for a guy she knows. It turns out this guy is a crime lord.

 They start working for him and the crime lord sets Samantha the job of assassinating two people with the promise of freeing her sister if Samantha completes it. However, when Samantha realises it’s a mother and child she is supposed to kill she is unable to bring herself to do it. Her friend steps in and does the job.

Because Samantha didn’t complete her task the crime lord hunts her down and tries to kill her, so she is forced to go on the run. She finds out her best friend has apparently joined the gang, but later it’s revealed that she was doing it so Samantha had an undercover insider.

Samantha learns the gang have kidnapped her sister. Her friend tries to help free her but dies because of this.

Finally, it all comes down to large showdown where the crime lord kills Samantha’s sister. Samantha eventually kills him. In the final scene we see Samantha crying on the floor surrounded by loads of bodies. End of story.

The subplot is the story of how she and her friend met and how she met the crime lord. But this is the main story.

b) Episode Arc:

Opening

Set in New York, it starts with the audience being introduced to Samantha Stanton (female, 20, brunette) who is walking down a street, oblivious to her surroundings. She’s listening to her ipod. (audience hears music, elaborate) As she approaches her apartment she realises police cars have surrounded the building. She takes out her earphones and music cuts out and audience hears the sound of sirens and shouting. She runs up to the building as cops drag a young girl (18, her sister) out and into a police van.

CUT TO TITLE SEQUENCE

In the prison, Samantha is allowed to talk to her sister (Emily Stanton) who swears she’s been set up/framed.  She then leaves the prison and talks to her friend (Mary bell) in person in a diner. They discuss her sister, they both come to the conclusion that they don’t have enough money to bail her out. Mary Bell has the idea to get the money from a friend of a friend. This person is known to lend money to people. Samantha meets up with what she thinks is a moneylender and discovers that he is a crime lord. In order for her to get the money. She has to kill two targets. She has been given a gun along with the description of her two targets and the location of where to kill them. The audience see her travel to the location alone but she is being followed. She gets to location, pulls the gun out on her target and realises it is a mother and a child.

End 

Key points that need to be changed.

• Page 3 Samantha Stanton line ‘you know know’? is there supposed to be two ‘knows’
• Page 4 Mary Bell ‘its not my sister in sing sing?  
• Some full stops are missing on some throughout the script on some sentencesAdd
• Scene Headings like: 1.    HOSPITAL BAY
• Put detail into voices and how they sound like. Accents.